These are reflections on my journey as a dementia caregiver and what seemed best for me in the area of communication.
One of the early changes was my husband’s lack of self-confidence which was very abnormal for him. Another change was his ability to think through a process from it’s onset to completion. He had to give up teaching new Bible lessons because he could not proceed beyond the first verse or idea, repeating it over and over. For a while he was still able to do sermons he had memorized because they were in his long-term memory.
Eventually, I found it necessary to do most of our daily routine allowing for anything he found interest in and was able to do safely with family members or a friend. My oversight progressed to total control. My family and I tried new activities each week, working them into our daily routine.
Routine is very important to the security of someone with dementia. Requiring my husband to make decisions on details of what do do was very frustrating for him. I discovered that I caused problems by giving more information than was needed for him.
During his healthy years he made good decisions about food but dementia clouded that thinking. Sweets and consuming whatever was in the fridge at night was now in his thinking. I decided what he needed to eat and added treats. Afterwards, “family style” serving was no longer a good option for him.
I learned to answer questions with few details because more was disturbing to him. I gave him two choices of basic facts along with my confidence that he was going to enjoy it. Most of all he needed to know I was there and that he was going to be fine!
Discovering what your loved one needs is a journey in patience and determination on your part as a caregiver. I found this discovery to be an answer to some communication problems for me. I am hopeful it will be for you.
